Another day in the life of me. Another day I learn who is with me and who is not. I seems to be that over the years I have relied on people that have seen fit to manipulate or contril me and that according to them I am supposed to share my entire life and all details about everything with them. However when I do try to do this I am told I am self centered and that I am not happy unless everything revolves around me.  I believe that I have been there for them threw some of there roughest times. Yet when some of those times placed my family in danger they accused me of being self centered and now when I do something that feel puts my children in harms way I get chastized for it and told under many prefaces that I am a neglectful mom. And then this opinion is passed on to others that have no buisiness knowing about it. When I have not done anything wrong. I just dont get how life works sometimes.

And if those ideas and feelings I was expeirining didnt wreck enought havoc on my weekend I had a friend who wanted to commit suicide. I think at this point my head is just going to explode.

 

I trully hope all is well with everyone. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

bb to all 

 

http://nextwebstar.com/entry.php?title=sweetnsassy-like-black-velvet

 

 I know its not the best but it was fun to try. Thanks foryour support.

 

I am finally back at owrk after surgery and after caring for my friend Kerry who was in a motorcycle accident. Sometimes I must admit I wish I had a stronger backbone when it comes to love and my heart. I have had a lot of eye opening things happen but just when I think I am sure of myself an my next step something gets inthe way. usually my heart. Stress is soemthing I am supposed to avaoid right now. So I guess a change in the love area should just hold off for awhile. oh well. someday my feet will get grounded. LOL I  did however get accepted onto a paranormal investigative team. So  I must be doing something right. I am way excited to be a part of this faboulous team. My talants/gifts will finally get put to better use. LOl

blessed be to all!

 

jj

It has come to my attention yet again that life for me will never be simple or complete. The things I once counted on to be steady and secure have proven to be flase and misleading and even hurtful. I used to like the life where I was controlled. Because that meant that I didnt have to be responsible for  my own actions. However this past year or so has taught me to see the truth. That I am very much in control of my own life and how I handle things. Even if I or others d onot like the outcome.  I have some continued suport from to very dear friends.One who lives states away and a man whom others have told me isnt worth my time. However. He is constantly proving to me and my girls how much he loves us and how much he will do to insure our safety and well being. I also have lost to people and their families do to something that I needed to do in order to protect my own family. It's hard to lose what you thought you needed and knew you cared for. Yet the freedom that comes with it is sometimes refreshing and yet a little scary at the same time. My mind is on overload with the troubles that I am facing. But rest assured somewhere, somehow something will guide me through and my children too.

The power and forces sizzle through the air.  Thoughts of love, life and the power of all combuned thrive within my soul. I hope tonight to bring forth the truth in my relationship and to assit with another so the truth be set upon us. To face what we must and heal ourselves if/when needed. The moons pull at my thoughts support the essence of my being. I hope that all who choose may be aided by the strength it sends out this month.

BB